Last night I read an outstanding book. I am in the middle of two other ones, and I just happened to pick this one up at the library, and I am glad I did.
The book, The Dark Sons, sat in the center of a young adult fiction display at the library. What grabbed my attention was that it had received the Coretta Scott King Award, and I have enjoyed many of the books that have also received that award.
Then when I started looking at it, I saw that it was written in verse format. Very cool, and I have read several books like that.
Nikki Grimes is the author, and she rocks the poetry part of the book. Her literary techniques create such a cadence while reading that you just can't set the book down, and I didn't! I read it in one sitting!
The story rotates between two boys, both first person accounts of their lives, particularly their families with a major focus on their relationships with their fathers.
The first boy is Ishmael, son of Abraham, and the second boy is Sam, son of James. Ishmael's story takes place in the desert, while Sam's is set in New York in present day.
Now, if you know the bible, you know the story of Ishmael, and regardless of your beliefs (I actually took a Bible Literature class in college--fascinating!), these parallel stories touch your heart in a real way, knowing that we have so many kids living in this situation of split families.
When I picked up the book, I had NO idea it was even going to be about that. I was obviously meant to read that book!
My favorite poems in the book (although many pages from one another) are the pages with the poems about how difficult it is for a child to have two lives.
You can check these specific poems out at: http://www.nikkigrimes.com/books/bkdark.html. I like them both, but I really like Sam's; it's the one that resonates with me most.
You know I have always considered returning to college to earn a doctorate, and I think it would be fascinating to study about how children of divorce (especially contentious ones) are emotionally affected, and if there is any evidence regarding multiple personality disorders as related to that experience.
2008/01/30
2008/01/29
Yippie, Yahoo...standing in the middle of the middle ground
As a self-proclaimed recovering control freak, I am realizing many things about my life! I had to send my ex-husband an e-mail the other day telling him that I finally understood how much I must have driven the man crazy in the times of my fanatical volunteering. It’s a good thing that we still have a great relationship, because now we can both laugh about those times.
Yes, volunteers make a difference, maybe even make the world go around. And, I am all for being involved. BUT, finally, I have figured out the whole balance thing in volunteering.
First, you have to have known who I used to be…I used to be the volunteer of the universe! Not kidding. I loved volunteering and did so for everything I possibly could. Then I moved into more leadership roles, but didn’t quite figure out that in order to not go entirely insane, it was necessary to delegate and to say NO.
I wanted everything to be done in a certain way: MINE. I had a vision, and in order for that to happen, I always felt like it was just easier to do it myself. I did have some incredible people, who were just as control freakish as me, working with me, so we accomplished some outstanding things, that really I am still proud of today. I wouldn’t trade in any of that; I might just trade in how I went about doing it all!
Now, in my wiser, and dare I say more mature, years I am finding this peaceful way of being a great volunteer and leader. I am not afraid to ask people to do things AND even more importantly give away my vision and allow others to run with their own creative ideas. The bottom line is everything will get done, and I won’t have nearly the same amount of stress.
I am really excited to be one of the fundraising chairpeople for the Montessori school where my step-daughter attends. I am having lots of fun working with incredibly talented and committed parents! This has also inspired me to start up a parent volunteer group at the elementary school in which our little one attends Kindergarten. I am going to go about this in the spring, and I can’t wait to harness all of this positive parent energy into making the lives of our teachers and kids better!
But, it feels even better when I think about how I will make a difference without feeling overwhelmed. How NOW I can give things away. Or even better just say no, when really I don’t want to do something. I like that, a lot.
Yes, volunteers make a difference, maybe even make the world go around. And, I am all for being involved. BUT, finally, I have figured out the whole balance thing in volunteering.
First, you have to have known who I used to be…I used to be the volunteer of the universe! Not kidding. I loved volunteering and did so for everything I possibly could. Then I moved into more leadership roles, but didn’t quite figure out that in order to not go entirely insane, it was necessary to delegate and to say NO.
I wanted everything to be done in a certain way: MINE. I had a vision, and in order for that to happen, I always felt like it was just easier to do it myself. I did have some incredible people, who were just as control freakish as me, working with me, so we accomplished some outstanding things, that really I am still proud of today. I wouldn’t trade in any of that; I might just trade in how I went about doing it all!
Now, in my wiser, and dare I say more mature, years I am finding this peaceful way of being a great volunteer and leader. I am not afraid to ask people to do things AND even more importantly give away my vision and allow others to run with their own creative ideas. The bottom line is everything will get done, and I won’t have nearly the same amount of stress.
I am really excited to be one of the fundraising chairpeople for the Montessori school where my step-daughter attends. I am having lots of fun working with incredibly talented and committed parents! This has also inspired me to start up a parent volunteer group at the elementary school in which our little one attends Kindergarten. I am going to go about this in the spring, and I can’t wait to harness all of this positive parent energy into making the lives of our teachers and kids better!
But, it feels even better when I think about how I will make a difference without feeling overwhelmed. How NOW I can give things away. Or even better just say no, when really I don’t want to do something. I like that, a lot.
2008/01/27
Tax Time
Taxes. I love doing our taxes, seriously. I, at one point in my life, thought about becoming an accountant (even took 2 years of accounting classes at the community college), but then, REALITY smacked me upside the head.
Anyone who knows me...knows that I wouldn't enjoy living the solitary life of an accountant. Mostly accountants interact with numbers, and quite frankly I need people time!
So, that's why I actually enjoying doing our taxes, and I would totally do other people's taxes, too. I figure out Rick's taxes for him every year, too. I have even thought about volunteering to help the elderly (I have a friend who does this.), and I might later in life.
Good news! I have a healthy tax return on its way. This means I am going to go car shopping (used). I plan on finding a nice little Honda to replace the Buick.
I must say I will be sad to see the Buick go, as we have some tender family heartfelt moments in that car! And, I always laugh when the snow tires are replaced by the "blinging" regular tires, and the kids at school always tease me about the "pimpin" rims!
Now, I am in the car hunt. Thankfully I have Rick on board because I know we will find the right car for the right money, and it always helps to bring along a mechanic!!
Good news, too, about the tax refunds we will receive later in the summer. That will be a nice little income infusion for the little people of the world. If nothing else, it will help subsidize the massive amounts of money spent on gas this past year!
Now back to filing your taxes this year.
Word of caution: Don't use those rapid refund sort of options for your taxes. I don't, but I do have friends who do. It's much the same concept as the payday loans. WHAT a rip-off!
Do your taxes. Mostly likely you can even file on-line (people who make under $54,000 can file for free on-line). If you have your refund deposited directly into your checking account, you can have it within 10 days of filing!!
So, instead you go to a rapid refund place, they charge you a fee (based on your refund amount)to give you a "loan" for your refund. You are essentially paying them to get your money a little earlier!!!
Think about it. Is receiving your check maybe 5 days earlier worth whatever fee you are giving them? If you are patient (waiting just a few more days), you will receive your FULL refund!!
OK, sorry for the rant, but I feel bad for the people who go this route, because really they are getting ripped off!
If you are interested in free filing online, go to the IRS website! http://www.irs.gov/
As well, you can use this site to look up any forms, instructions, etc. I also like how I track my refund to see when it's on its way!
Happy taxes to you!
Anyone who knows me...knows that I wouldn't enjoy living the solitary life of an accountant. Mostly accountants interact with numbers, and quite frankly I need people time!
So, that's why I actually enjoying doing our taxes, and I would totally do other people's taxes, too. I figure out Rick's taxes for him every year, too. I have even thought about volunteering to help the elderly (I have a friend who does this.), and I might later in life.
Good news! I have a healthy tax return on its way. This means I am going to go car shopping (used). I plan on finding a nice little Honda to replace the Buick.
I must say I will be sad to see the Buick go, as we have some tender family heartfelt moments in that car! And, I always laugh when the snow tires are replaced by the "blinging" regular tires, and the kids at school always tease me about the "pimpin" rims!
Now, I am in the car hunt. Thankfully I have Rick on board because I know we will find the right car for the right money, and it always helps to bring along a mechanic!!
Good news, too, about the tax refunds we will receive later in the summer. That will be a nice little income infusion for the little people of the world. If nothing else, it will help subsidize the massive amounts of money spent on gas this past year!
Now back to filing your taxes this year.
Word of caution: Don't use those rapid refund sort of options for your taxes. I don't, but I do have friends who do. It's much the same concept as the payday loans. WHAT a rip-off!
Do your taxes. Mostly likely you can even file on-line (people who make under $54,000 can file for free on-line). If you have your refund deposited directly into your checking account, you can have it within 10 days of filing!!
So, instead you go to a rapid refund place, they charge you a fee (based on your refund amount)to give you a "loan" for your refund. You are essentially paying them to get your money a little earlier!!!
Think about it. Is receiving your check maybe 5 days earlier worth whatever fee you are giving them? If you are patient (waiting just a few more days), you will receive your FULL refund!!
OK, sorry for the rant, but I feel bad for the people who go this route, because really they are getting ripped off!
If you are interested in free filing online, go to the IRS website! http://www.irs.gov/
As well, you can use this site to look up any forms, instructions, etc. I also like how I track my refund to see when it's on its way!
Happy taxes to you!
2008/01/26
Wicked Step-Mom Part 2
I have found some sites to which I relate, as far as being a step-mom in a contentious dynamic with bio-mom. They are under my links section, if you want to check them out!
My favorite and most witty one...the wicked step-mom blog. You have to read the bookmarks on her page, and her cast of characters!!
One of my favorite quotations I have ever read about being a step-mom is: "Step-moms are expected to step up while being stepped on." I get that one!
As of late, I have even reached out more to my boys' step-mom. I have told her how much I appreciate her, and I have thanked her for loving my boys.
I know my situation is different with her than the one I have with my step-daughter's bio-mom, as for starters, my kids are much older. She really wasn't part of raising them, and she doesn't feel the same responsiblity for them as I do for my step-daughter.
And, she doesn't spend as much time as I do with my little one, because we live farther away from each other. However, when I see my boys hug and kiss her good-bye, it doesn't make me angry. It makes me feel happy for my boys. And, even more I feel respect for her because she has taken the time and love to bond with my sons.
Another hot topic in the world of being a step-parent is what your step-child calls you. I personally think that kids will call you whatever is in their hearts, and that you should not stress over it.
My case in point: I have been with my step-daughter since she was just 1 1/2 years old. She grew up with my two boys also in the house, and also calling me mom.
When she first started calling me mom, we corrected her and told her to call me Trisha instead. Eventually, she compressed what she called me into Mama Trisha. This did not bode well with bio-mom.
But, let's be real. We have my step-daughter half-time, equally as when she is with her bio-mom. I have the duties of mom when she is with us, and I love her as my own daughter. It's natural for her to call me as she does.
Now, that she is a bit older and even more confused, she asks lots of questions. She has been repeatedly told that I am not her mom, and so she wants to know why. I have explained to her on several occasions that her mom carried her in her tummy and her mom had her. And, that I am a second mom. That I love her and that she can call me whatever she wants. She still opts to call me Mama and Mom.
Now, her bio-mom makes the case that since I moved out of her house that I am not even her step-mom anymore, only when Rick and I marry will I have that role. SO, if we want to be technical and legal, I am not a step-mom. But, how does that change who I am in my step-daughter's life and heart?
We still have the same relationship, even though I don't spend every night (although many) at her house. We still all eat dinner together most nights as a family (with my son, included) when she is with us. She loves her brothers (bio and step) to the ends of the earth. They are her family, too.
Our personal decision to have separate houses changed our living arrangements, but our relationship is much stronger, and we have remained committed to our children throughout this change of circumstances, which are not permanent. How does that change labels?
Recently, I have thought about the women in my life. I think about when I grew up. My parents did live together, but I also had a VERY strong bond with another woman when I was a teenager, who I called Mom. She was my second mom. Not a replacement, not a better mom than my real mom, just another mom.
I have had other women in my life, even as an adult, who have also mothered me. Does that make my bio-mom any less of a mom? Absolutely not.
Not too long ago I came across the following, and I cannot remember where, so I apologize for not being able to cite its source, but it does hammer straight to the truth of all of this.
"Someone please tell me why everyone gets their panties in a ruffle over step parents simply being called mom/dad? If it is what the children want why be mad? Remember the African saying: it takes a village to raise a child. The name mom/dad is just that a name, a concept it holds no value. What is of value is you and your child's relationship. If you are secure in your child's love for you, then what difference does it make if they call two women/men, mom/dad. Let me put it like this: In life you have two grandmas, and two grandpas from both of your parents. You call both these women Grandma or some form of Grandma. Is that in some way taking away from either one when you call both Grandma? Does it mean that you love one more? Perhaps you should only refer to your oldest grandma and grandpa as that since they were your grandparents first (because they were born before the other set of grandparents)and call the other one by their first names that way no one has to be jealous of a name. I am sooooooooooooooooooo sick and tired of hearing about this issue. If you love your kids let them be free to love those around them and call them accordingly. And by the way I am on both sides of this issue so you can't say that I dont know what I'm taking about."
My favorite and most witty one...the wicked step-mom blog. You have to read the bookmarks on her page, and her cast of characters!!
One of my favorite quotations I have ever read about being a step-mom is: "Step-moms are expected to step up while being stepped on." I get that one!
As of late, I have even reached out more to my boys' step-mom. I have told her how much I appreciate her, and I have thanked her for loving my boys.
I know my situation is different with her than the one I have with my step-daughter's bio-mom, as for starters, my kids are much older. She really wasn't part of raising them, and she doesn't feel the same responsiblity for them as I do for my step-daughter.
And, she doesn't spend as much time as I do with my little one, because we live farther away from each other. However, when I see my boys hug and kiss her good-bye, it doesn't make me angry. It makes me feel happy for my boys. And, even more I feel respect for her because she has taken the time and love to bond with my sons.
Another hot topic in the world of being a step-parent is what your step-child calls you. I personally think that kids will call you whatever is in their hearts, and that you should not stress over it.
My case in point: I have been with my step-daughter since she was just 1 1/2 years old. She grew up with my two boys also in the house, and also calling me mom.
When she first started calling me mom, we corrected her and told her to call me Trisha instead. Eventually, she compressed what she called me into Mama Trisha. This did not bode well with bio-mom.
But, let's be real. We have my step-daughter half-time, equally as when she is with her bio-mom. I have the duties of mom when she is with us, and I love her as my own daughter. It's natural for her to call me as she does.
Now, that she is a bit older and even more confused, she asks lots of questions. She has been repeatedly told that I am not her mom, and so she wants to know why. I have explained to her on several occasions that her mom carried her in her tummy and her mom had her. And, that I am a second mom. That I love her and that she can call me whatever she wants. She still opts to call me Mama and Mom.
Now, her bio-mom makes the case that since I moved out of her house that I am not even her step-mom anymore, only when Rick and I marry will I have that role. SO, if we want to be technical and legal, I am not a step-mom. But, how does that change who I am in my step-daughter's life and heart?
We still have the same relationship, even though I don't spend every night (although many) at her house. We still all eat dinner together most nights as a family (with my son, included) when she is with us. She loves her brothers (bio and step) to the ends of the earth. They are her family, too.
Our personal decision to have separate houses changed our living arrangements, but our relationship is much stronger, and we have remained committed to our children throughout this change of circumstances, which are not permanent. How does that change labels?
Recently, I have thought about the women in my life. I think about when I grew up. My parents did live together, but I also had a VERY strong bond with another woman when I was a teenager, who I called Mom. She was my second mom. Not a replacement, not a better mom than my real mom, just another mom.
I have had other women in my life, even as an adult, who have also mothered me. Does that make my bio-mom any less of a mom? Absolutely not.
Not too long ago I came across the following, and I cannot remember where, so I apologize for not being able to cite its source, but it does hammer straight to the truth of all of this.
"Someone please tell me why everyone gets their panties in a ruffle over step parents simply being called mom/dad? If it is what the children want why be mad? Remember the African saying: it takes a village to raise a child. The name mom/dad is just that a name, a concept it holds no value. What is of value is you and your child's relationship. If you are secure in your child's love for you, then what difference does it make if they call two women/men, mom/dad. Let me put it like this: In life you have two grandmas, and two grandpas from both of your parents. You call both these women Grandma or some form of Grandma. Is that in some way taking away from either one when you call both Grandma? Does it mean that you love one more? Perhaps you should only refer to your oldest grandma and grandpa as that since they were your grandparents first (because they were born before the other set of grandparents)and call the other one by their first names that way no one has to be jealous of a name. I am sooooooooooooooooooo sick and tired of hearing about this issue. If you love your kids let them be free to love those around them and call them accordingly. And by the way I am on both sides of this issue so you can't say that I dont know what I'm taking about."
2008/01/25
Loving Step-Mother: An oxymoron?
Everywhere I turn FAMILY keeps popping up. I have been mulling the topic and wanting to write about it in deeper detail for awhile now. So, I know with all the signs around me…it’s time.
My friend (and former student) Lalis just welcomed her son into this world on Tuesday. I had the delightful opportunity to hold him this morning, such a little bundle of life. It immediately returned me to my senior year, when I first held my son Cody in my arms.
My, hasn’t life been fun since then? I think about the people in my life who have all been a part of raising my children, whether directly or indirectly with their positive influence. I consider my children to be my proudest accomplishments in life, my reason for living.
I know I have made mistakes along the way and will have many more to make, but what really matters is that my heart is completely dedicated to being a mom. I have no doubt that is why I am a teacher, too!
Then last night while we were watching Celebrity Apprentice, I was reminded that many people realize the same things that I do about family. The leader for the male team was Vincent Pastore (Sopranos). His team won $50,000 to go to a charity of his choice. He donated to a cancer research fund on behalf of his daughter’s step-father who had died of pancreatic cancer. He realized the value of this other man who was his daughter’s step-father, and cherished that value by choosing it as his charity. WOW!
I know how he feels, as my ex-husband has a girlfriend who lives with him. I consider her, although not married to my ex, my boys’ step-mom. She is a positive influence on my boys, who love her dearly. I feel lucky that my boys have yet ONE more person in their lives to love, nurture, and support them. I don’t believe you can have too many people love a child. I don’t hold any anger or jealousy towards her, and truly I am happy for my ex-husband to have found love again. Do I LIKE to share my kids with my ex and his girlfriend? NO. Of course, I would like to be selfish and keep them with me all the time. I enjoy being with them, and I love experiencing all that their lives bring about. But, reality is what it is. I divorced their father, and now we share time with the boys. He deserves time with them just as much as I do. He wants it just as much as I want it.
I also am on the other end of the step-parent relationship. I am one. I have the most amazing step-daughter in the world! I have been in her life since she was just over a year old (she will be six in May), and I completely understand how people can genuinely love children that are not biologically their own. I also have two adult step-children, with whom I have good relationships, but different ones. I am much more a friend and supporter of them. Whereas with our little one (Miss S), I have a mother role.
Therein lays the rub. Her bio-mom HATES that I have that role. Truly, she behaves as if she would rather Miss S not have a step-mom at all, which is small-minded and sad. Being a step-mom in this situation…sucks (and, ask my students, I DISLIKE that word, but truly it fits). People don’t parent the same, even husbands and wives that are together disagree on how kids should be raised, but add into the mix a divorce and extra people, and it can be a bit muddled at times.
It’s not a perfect world, and it won’t be. I feel fortunate that I don’t have to deal with two messy situations. Trust me, I have tried to make things work with bio-mom, but that will never happen. She is just too defensive and dishonest. She hasn’t figured out that we live in a small town. When she says one thing to us and then turns around and trashes us to others, she thinks that we don’t hear about it all. Not being able to trust her, means we can never have a positive relationship. That is a sad state of affairs for Miss S. And, the bottom line is that no matter what bio-mom does or says, it won’t change my love for my step-daughter or hers for me.
Family…there is no black and white definition. We are who we are. We love people we are related to, and we don’t. We love people who have no biological connection to us, and that makes us all family, too.
My friend (and former student) Lalis just welcomed her son into this world on Tuesday. I had the delightful opportunity to hold him this morning, such a little bundle of life. It immediately returned me to my senior year, when I first held my son Cody in my arms.
My, hasn’t life been fun since then? I think about the people in my life who have all been a part of raising my children, whether directly or indirectly with their positive influence. I consider my children to be my proudest accomplishments in life, my reason for living.
I know I have made mistakes along the way and will have many more to make, but what really matters is that my heart is completely dedicated to being a mom. I have no doubt that is why I am a teacher, too!
Then last night while we were watching Celebrity Apprentice, I was reminded that many people realize the same things that I do about family. The leader for the male team was Vincent Pastore (Sopranos). His team won $50,000 to go to a charity of his choice. He donated to a cancer research fund on behalf of his daughter’s step-father who had died of pancreatic cancer. He realized the value of this other man who was his daughter’s step-father, and cherished that value by choosing it as his charity. WOW!
I know how he feels, as my ex-husband has a girlfriend who lives with him. I consider her, although not married to my ex, my boys’ step-mom. She is a positive influence on my boys, who love her dearly. I feel lucky that my boys have yet ONE more person in their lives to love, nurture, and support them. I don’t believe you can have too many people love a child. I don’t hold any anger or jealousy towards her, and truly I am happy for my ex-husband to have found love again. Do I LIKE to share my kids with my ex and his girlfriend? NO. Of course, I would like to be selfish and keep them with me all the time. I enjoy being with them, and I love experiencing all that their lives bring about. But, reality is what it is. I divorced their father, and now we share time with the boys. He deserves time with them just as much as I do. He wants it just as much as I want it.
I also am on the other end of the step-parent relationship. I am one. I have the most amazing step-daughter in the world! I have been in her life since she was just over a year old (she will be six in May), and I completely understand how people can genuinely love children that are not biologically their own. I also have two adult step-children, with whom I have good relationships, but different ones. I am much more a friend and supporter of them. Whereas with our little one (Miss S), I have a mother role.
Therein lays the rub. Her bio-mom HATES that I have that role. Truly, she behaves as if she would rather Miss S not have a step-mom at all, which is small-minded and sad. Being a step-mom in this situation…sucks (and, ask my students, I DISLIKE that word, but truly it fits). People don’t parent the same, even husbands and wives that are together disagree on how kids should be raised, but add into the mix a divorce and extra people, and it can be a bit muddled at times.
It’s not a perfect world, and it won’t be. I feel fortunate that I don’t have to deal with two messy situations. Trust me, I have tried to make things work with bio-mom, but that will never happen. She is just too defensive and dishonest. She hasn’t figured out that we live in a small town. When she says one thing to us and then turns around and trashes us to others, she thinks that we don’t hear about it all. Not being able to trust her, means we can never have a positive relationship. That is a sad state of affairs for Miss S. And, the bottom line is that no matter what bio-mom does or says, it won’t change my love for my step-daughter or hers for me.
Family…there is no black and white definition. We are who we are. We love people we are related to, and we don’t. We love people who have no biological connection to us, and that makes us all family, too.
2008/01/23
The definition of FAMILY
As you can tell by the two quotations to the left, I have been thinking lots about family lately.
Certainly the definition of family has evolved throughout the years. A family in the fifties can be different in composition than that of one today.
When I think about family, I think about all sorts of things. Who is family? Just the people that we call family, with whom we were born into relationships?
Why does it seem like every family has a black sheep? And, does that black sheep choose to be outside of the family OR does that family member feel like they have been ostracized? How do we become the roles and labels that families have?
As well, I often think about blended families given my own personal experiences. I am both a bio-mom and a step-mom, and my boys have both a bio-mom and step-mom. So, technically, I deal with all sets of extra hands :)
Family to me: The people that love you unconditionally. The people who will tell you that you made a mistake, but help you figure out how to fix it. The people who might be disappointed, but will never give up on you. The people who find the good you have to offer this world and help you magnify it. The people who will always place what's best for you at the forefront. The people who CHOOSE to love you.
To me...those are the people who are your family. Maybe they are your blood-relatives, and maybe they are not.
I will continue this conversation later. I really want to delve into the world of being a step-parent both from my perspective as one, and as a bio-mom dealing with one.
Certainly the definition of family has evolved throughout the years. A family in the fifties can be different in composition than that of one today.
When I think about family, I think about all sorts of things. Who is family? Just the people that we call family, with whom we were born into relationships?
Why does it seem like every family has a black sheep? And, does that black sheep choose to be outside of the family OR does that family member feel like they have been ostracized? How do we become the roles and labels that families have?
As well, I often think about blended families given my own personal experiences. I am both a bio-mom and a step-mom, and my boys have both a bio-mom and step-mom. So, technically, I deal with all sets of extra hands :)
Family to me: The people that love you unconditionally. The people who will tell you that you made a mistake, but help you figure out how to fix it. The people who might be disappointed, but will never give up on you. The people who find the good you have to offer this world and help you magnify it. The people who will always place what's best for you at the forefront. The people who CHOOSE to love you.
To me...those are the people who are your family. Maybe they are your blood-relatives, and maybe they are not.
I will continue this conversation later. I really want to delve into the world of being a step-parent both from my perspective as one, and as a bio-mom dealing with one.
Movies, movies, movies, movies (played to the "Ode to Joy" tune)
We did this past weekend see The Bucket List, which means I can cross one movie off my list. It was a great movie, with good actors (love Morgan and Jack), a bit slow going in the beginning, but worth the $7.50.
My Must See Movies List only grows apparently! Even though I can take The Bucket List off, I now have several more! GEEZ!!
Charlie Bartlett
Vantage Point
Spiderwick
A-Team (BOY, this brings back childhood memories!)
There Will Be Blood
Get Smart
Austin Powers 4
Spiderman 4
The Dark Night (another Batman movie - starring the late Heath Ledger as the JOKER).
Drillbit Taylor
Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy
Just to add 10 more movies! Sounds like a bunch of date nights coming up :)
My Must See Movies List only grows apparently! Even though I can take The Bucket List off, I now have several more! GEEZ!!
Charlie Bartlett
Vantage Point
Spiderwick
A-Team (BOY, this brings back childhood memories!)
There Will Be Blood
Get Smart
Austin Powers 4
Spiderman 4
The Dark Night (another Batman movie - starring the late Heath Ledger as the JOKER).
Drillbit Taylor
Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy
Just to add 10 more movies! Sounds like a bunch of date nights coming up :)
2008/01/16
The list keeps growing and growing and growing!!!
We are either going to spend a million dollars at the movie theater or Blockbuster!! 21 movies and counting!
Fool's Gold *VERY funny! Plus I love Mathew :)
The Eye *Jessica Alba, Lion's Gate, SUSPENSE...need I say more?
Definitely, Maybe *Geez lots of chick flicks! Good thing I can drag Rick to these!
Over Her Dead Body *This looks very funny! I also love Eva!
Meet the Spartans *I love spoofs!
Juno *I understand. I had Cody my senior year in high school.
Indiana Jones 4 and Back to the Future 4 - not out until May, but YIPPIE!
Bucket List - Two of my favorite actors! I love the idea, obviously...you can read my very own bucket lists on my other blog (link on this page).
Sweeney Todd *I am a HUGE Depp fan, AND, I love the musical. I first heard of it when I watched Jersey Girl, so then I had to research and read it!
P.S. I Love You *I know, I know. Total sap movie, but I do like the old-fashion notion of romance.
27 Dresses *Cute
Mad Money *Chick flick
Cloverfield *Creepy
Untraceable *Real spooky, as in could this really happen?
Jumper *I would love to teleport!
Rambo *Yes, I am curious about this one.
Be Kind Rewind *This looks hilarious. Of course, I love Jack Black (a local boy) and Danny Glover!!! The concept for this movie just makes me crack up. How refreshing!!
The Other Boleyn Girl * Ihave read EVERY book of Philippa Gregory, and this cast rocks!!! I can't wait for others to now discover her amazing historical fiction novels!!!
10,000 BC *I love these EPIC sorts of movies!!!
Stop Loss *I know people who have really experienced this
Fool's Gold *VERY funny! Plus I love Mathew :)
The Eye *Jessica Alba, Lion's Gate, SUSPENSE...need I say more?
Definitely, Maybe *Geez lots of chick flicks! Good thing I can drag Rick to these!
Over Her Dead Body *This looks very funny! I also love Eva!
Meet the Spartans *I love spoofs!
Juno *I understand. I had Cody my senior year in high school.
Indiana Jones 4 and Back to the Future 4 - not out until May, but YIPPIE!
Bucket List - Two of my favorite actors! I love the idea, obviously...you can read my very own bucket lists on my other blog (link on this page).
Sweeney Todd *I am a HUGE Depp fan, AND, I love the musical. I first heard of it when I watched Jersey Girl, so then I had to research and read it!
P.S. I Love You *I know, I know. Total sap movie, but I do like the old-fashion notion of romance.
27 Dresses *Cute
Mad Money *Chick flick
Cloverfield *Creepy
Untraceable *Real spooky, as in could this really happen?
Jumper *I would love to teleport!
Rambo *Yes, I am curious about this one.
Be Kind Rewind *This looks hilarious. Of course, I love Jack Black (a local boy) and Danny Glover!!! The concept for this movie just makes me crack up. How refreshing!!
The Other Boleyn Girl * Ihave read EVERY book of Philippa Gregory, and this cast rocks!!! I can't wait for others to now discover her amazing historical fiction novels!!!
10,000 BC *I love these EPIC sorts of movies!!!
Stop Loss *I know people who have really experienced this
Pet Peeve
When people act one way in public, but really are different when they are out of sight of the people they are trying to impress.
2008/01/15
Dems the Berries
Tonight the Democratic debate is on MSNBC starting at 6 p.m. I am eager to watch it for all of the swirling controversy. I like the billing as the “Showdown in Vegas” because it reminds me of the big boxing matches. Are you reaaaaaaaaaady to rumble?
And, it leads to all sorts of witty clichés about the debate. Things like: The real-action at Vegas tonight won’t be at the high-dollar tables or Democrats lay their cards down on the table. And, now to continue on with the Vegas lingo, we have the race and gender cards being dealt more regularly as the entire brouhaha heats up. Candidates making fun of how Hilary dresses, those trendy coats of hers. Or, how about the latest Hilary faux pas giving the Civil Rights Movement credit to LBJ?
To add to the unknown of tonight's debate, an unknown is being allowed to participate: Dennis Kucinich; he even has a judge promising an injunction if he is not permitted to join the Vegas debate. That in itself is proving an interesting controversy. Should NBC be allowed to say who is or isn’t invited to the debate they are hosting on their channel? The begrudginly invited the unwanted guest to their party because they wanted the colorful and often tension-breaker Richardson on board. But, then he bailed out, and so NBC wanted to "uninvite" Kucinich.
Who can lead this country? I, for one, do not respect Hilary Clinton. I know it’s all politics, but I would’ve been more interested in backing her up if she left her cheating husband. It’s not as if he had one minor and quiet discretion. He is a liar and a cheater, and she would do far better in the common people world if she left the dog. Keeping him on his chain for political necessities (albeit, what any other politician would do), Hilary is a loser herself. I don’t want her to represent women as the first ever female president. I do believe that you can forgive your partner of a transgression, especially with lots of counseling and commitment. BUT, shame on you when you allow it to happen and choose to stayed married for convenience, not for the institution of marriage. WHY bother being married at all, then? We also know that the popular vote of the common people means NOTHING, but I will still vote and still voice my opinions.
Barrack…I have been an Obama fan for years now. I know he IS a politician, but there is something about the guy. Something. I think he is more the people president, in that he is receiving many endorsements from us regular folks (like me) involved in various regular folks sort of unions. I like him. He seems more real, less fake. He willingly admitted his drug use as a young man in his book The Audacity of Hope . Of course, the other side could say he only divulged that bit before someone else could uncover it. I don't really care. And, after the Iowa debate, I found myself connecting to Edwards, too. Plus I found Richardson just plain funny…great sense of humor. Of course, there are still the Republicans (BORING...let's keep the religion out of this, OK?), and really I am not interested. I am not a Democrat, more of an Independent. I vote the issues and the people.
And, it leads to all sorts of witty clichés about the debate. Things like: The real-action at Vegas tonight won’t be at the high-dollar tables or Democrats lay their cards down on the table. And, now to continue on with the Vegas lingo, we have the race and gender cards being dealt more regularly as the entire brouhaha heats up. Candidates making fun of how Hilary dresses, those trendy coats of hers. Or, how about the latest Hilary faux pas giving the Civil Rights Movement credit to LBJ?
To add to the unknown of tonight's debate, an unknown is being allowed to participate: Dennis Kucinich; he even has a judge promising an injunction if he is not permitted to join the Vegas debate. That in itself is proving an interesting controversy. Should NBC be allowed to say who is or isn’t invited to the debate they are hosting on their channel? The begrudginly invited the unwanted guest to their party because they wanted the colorful and often tension-breaker Richardson on board. But, then he bailed out, and so NBC wanted to "uninvite" Kucinich.
Who can lead this country? I, for one, do not respect Hilary Clinton. I know it’s all politics, but I would’ve been more interested in backing her up if she left her cheating husband. It’s not as if he had one minor and quiet discretion. He is a liar and a cheater, and she would do far better in the common people world if she left the dog. Keeping him on his chain for political necessities (albeit, what any other politician would do), Hilary is a loser herself. I don’t want her to represent women as the first ever female president. I do believe that you can forgive your partner of a transgression, especially with lots of counseling and commitment. BUT, shame on you when you allow it to happen and choose to stayed married for convenience, not for the institution of marriage. WHY bother being married at all, then? We also know that the popular vote of the common people means NOTHING, but I will still vote and still voice my opinions.
Barrack…I have been an Obama fan for years now. I know he IS a politician, but there is something about the guy. Something. I think he is more the people president, in that he is receiving many endorsements from us regular folks (like me) involved in various regular folks sort of unions. I like him. He seems more real, less fake. He willingly admitted his drug use as a young man in his book The Audacity of Hope . Of course, the other side could say he only divulged that bit before someone else could uncover it. I don't really care. And, after the Iowa debate, I found myself connecting to Edwards, too. Plus I found Richardson just plain funny…great sense of humor. Of course, there are still the Republicans (BORING...let's keep the religion out of this, OK?), and really I am not interested. I am not a Democrat, more of an Independent. I vote the issues and the people.
Read this!
Just finished reading a SUPERB auto-biography! Terri Jentz wrote about her harrowing experience in Oregon back in ’77. The title of her book is A Strange Piece of Paradise. I had a friend lend it to me (had not heard of it before), and I LOVED it!
I have always had this weird (maybe grotesque, as in why we watch the horror movies) interest in reading true crime accounts, but this book is even better because it is from a point-of-view you don’t normally read about. And, as a reader, you are following right along in her investigation into the true perpetrator. I like the psychology of the book.
What a story! Terri really is a survivor. She writes about the tough stuff, especially like the capability of evil. I like how she realizes that a violent crime doesn’t only affect the victims, but her story is that of the community as well.
You can check out her site at: http://www.strangepieceofparadise.com/. She has an excerpt there, too.
I have always had this weird (maybe grotesque, as in why we watch the horror movies) interest in reading true crime accounts, but this book is even better because it is from a point-of-view you don’t normally read about. And, as a reader, you are following right along in her investigation into the true perpetrator. I like the psychology of the book.
What a story! Terri really is a survivor. She writes about the tough stuff, especially like the capability of evil. I like how she realizes that a violent crime doesn’t only affect the victims, but her story is that of the community as well.
You can check out her site at: http://www.strangepieceofparadise.com/. She has an excerpt there, too.
2008/01/13
Post script on movies list...
Not sure how I could forget these two movies on my list of movies to see, which is now 13!!
Sweeney Todd *I am a HUGE Depp fan, AND, I love the musical. I first heard of it when I watched Jersey Girl, so then I had to research and read it!
P.S. I Love You *I know, I know. Total sap movie, but I do like the old-fashion notion of romance.
I have read several articles and editorials on the loss of the Golden Globe Awards, as far as all the glitz and glam left in the closet this year, and it appears that the overwhelming response has been that the common people have not missed it.
Sweeney Todd *I am a HUGE Depp fan, AND, I love the musical. I first heard of it when I watched Jersey Girl, so then I had to research and read it!
P.S. I Love You *I know, I know. Total sap movie, but I do like the old-fashion notion of romance.
I have read several articles and editorials on the loss of the Golden Globe Awards, as far as all the glitz and glam left in the closet this year, and it appears that the overwhelming response has been that the common people have not missed it.
Benefits of the writers on strike...
So, all of the writers are on strike, and if you are not a huge tv junkie, it really doesn't affect you. I like reality shows (I KNOW...), which have little writing as compared to a normal tv show. But, I do miss some of my favorites that Rick and I love watching like Bones and House. Good news, though, Prison Break is back on tomorrow night.
Back to the benefits of the writers' strike. The movies right now (not the dvds, although we did watch a couple of good movies lately, we have pretty much watched everything at Blockbuster that we would want to watch). The movies are exploding!
I have so many I want to go and see. We are planning on going Friday night to see The Bucket List starring two of my all-time favorite actors, but that is just a hole in the proverbial bucket of movies at this point.
27 Dresses *Cute
Mad Money *Chick flick
Cloverfield *Creepty
Untraceable * Real spooky, as in could this really happen?
Jumper *I would love to teleport!
Rambo *Yes, I am curious about this one.
Be Kind Rewind *This looks hilarious. Of course, I love Jack Black (a local boy) and Danny Glover!!! The concept for this movie just makes me crack up. How refreshing!!
The Other Boleyn Girl * I have read EVERY book of Philippa Gregory, and this cast rocks!!! I can't wait for others to now discover her amazing historical fiction novels!!!
10,000 BC *I love these EPIC sorts of movies!!!
Stop Loss *I know people who have really experienced this!
That makes eleven movies I want to see starting this weekend, although some won't be out until March. Wonder if the writers will be back to work by then?
It's pretty crazy to think that the Golden Globes were announced in a press conference. BUT, you know what? That's OK by me. Those shows are a bit ridiculous when you truly consider how much money is spent.
Back to the benefits of the writers' strike. The movies right now (not the dvds, although we did watch a couple of good movies lately, we have pretty much watched everything at Blockbuster that we would want to watch). The movies are exploding!
I have so many I want to go and see. We are planning on going Friday night to see The Bucket List starring two of my all-time favorite actors, but that is just a hole in the proverbial bucket of movies at this point.
27 Dresses *Cute
Mad Money *Chick flick
Cloverfield *Creepty
Untraceable * Real spooky, as in could this really happen?
Jumper *I would love to teleport!
Rambo *Yes, I am curious about this one.
Be Kind Rewind *This looks hilarious. Of course, I love Jack Black (a local boy) and Danny Glover!!! The concept for this movie just makes me crack up. How refreshing!!
The Other Boleyn Girl * I have read EVERY book of Philippa Gregory, and this cast rocks!!! I can't wait for others to now discover her amazing historical fiction novels!!!
10,000 BC *I love these EPIC sorts of movies!!!
Stop Loss *I know people who have really experienced this!
That makes eleven movies I want to see starting this weekend, although some won't be out until March. Wonder if the writers will be back to work by then?
It's pretty crazy to think that the Golden Globes were announced in a press conference. BUT, you know what? That's OK by me. Those shows are a bit ridiculous when you truly consider how much money is spent.
2008/01/11
Isn't it IRONIC?
Don't ya think? I sure do love Alanis' music during her "hating the world phase" since it's all so emotionally charged.
Ironically, today I woke up to an early morning phone call telling me that we had a two-hour late start because of freezing fog. This, after I blogged about how much I am not liking the snow right now.
I did, however, thoroughly enjoy my two-hour late sleep, I mean start. Yes, I slept in, even though I certainly had many other things I could be doing (how about housework, exercising, etc.).
Another irony is that I just complained about two other schools having a late start but still having athletic events. Guess what? My son had a late start today, but he also headed out on a bus to Leavenworth for a basketball game.
NOW, I am not feeling like a hypocrite ONLY for the following reason. They left today at 1:15, and the roads were certainly improved as compared to this morning.
But, what about this evening you ask??? WELL, Jordie is staying with his dad for the weekend, so he WON'T be riding back on the bus.
Ironically, today I woke up to an early morning phone call telling me that we had a two-hour late start because of freezing fog. This, after I blogged about how much I am not liking the snow right now.
I did, however, thoroughly enjoy my two-hour late sleep, I mean start. Yes, I slept in, even though I certainly had many other things I could be doing (how about housework, exercising, etc.).
Another irony is that I just complained about two other schools having a late start but still having athletic events. Guess what? My son had a late start today, but he also headed out on a bus to Leavenworth for a basketball game.
NOW, I am not feeling like a hypocrite ONLY for the following reason. They left today at 1:15, and the roads were certainly improved as compared to this morning.
But, what about this evening you ask??? WELL, Jordie is staying with his dad for the weekend, so he WON'T be riding back on the bus.
2008/01/10
Smore snow
Some more snow? I am a snow lover, but really I am ready for it to go away. I know all of the environmental aspects and needing a good watershed, blah, blah. But, really enough already. I used to live in Leavenworth, so I am highly aware of what it is like to be buried under TONS of snow. SIGH. Let's all dig out our shovels.
The snow today impeded the fire trucks in arriving to my friend's home, which did burn to the ground. The family (animals included) are all OK, but they lost everything. And, if I hear one more time that they have insurance, I think I might barf. For real, you think the insurance is kicking in instantly? Not even...how about just surviving the next couple of days and weeks (and, in this lovely snow, needing warm coats and all the accessories).
How about this one...Brewster closed school down today because they had too much snow, but I heard that they still were keeping their sporting events this evening. I AM CONFUSED. But, Lake Roosevelt had a late start on Tuesday because the roads were too dangerous to bring children on busses to school, and then they came over here to play basketball games and drive back on those same busses at 9 p.m. GO FIGURE.
Or even better...the city that I live and drive in makes me feel like I need four-wheel drive to navigate the ruts and uneven ground. But, what I really like is how the snow plows come through and bury you in, even after you just shoveled out. OR...how about that my car is park near the road, and every morning is covered in dirt and gravel. Grrrrrrr.
I am not all grumpy about the snow. I do love the beauty of snow, and it is peaceful to just sit and watch it. I love making snow angels and men, or forts to hide in during huge snowball fights! I love to ski, both downhill and especially cross-country (but, my butt is not a huge fan of snowboarding). Sledding rocks. Yeah, snow CAN be SUPER, but right now, I am just tired of it.
The snow today impeded the fire trucks in arriving to my friend's home, which did burn to the ground. The family (animals included) are all OK, but they lost everything. And, if I hear one more time that they have insurance, I think I might barf. For real, you think the insurance is kicking in instantly? Not even...how about just surviving the next couple of days and weeks (and, in this lovely snow, needing warm coats and all the accessories).
How about this one...Brewster closed school down today because they had too much snow, but I heard that they still were keeping their sporting events this evening. I AM CONFUSED. But, Lake Roosevelt had a late start on Tuesday because the roads were too dangerous to bring children on busses to school, and then they came over here to play basketball games and drive back on those same busses at 9 p.m. GO FIGURE.
Or even better...the city that I live and drive in makes me feel like I need four-wheel drive to navigate the ruts and uneven ground. But, what I really like is how the snow plows come through and bury you in, even after you just shoveled out. OR...how about that my car is park near the road, and every morning is covered in dirt and gravel. Grrrrrrr.
I am not all grumpy about the snow. I do love the beauty of snow, and it is peaceful to just sit and watch it. I love making snow angels and men, or forts to hide in during huge snowball fights! I love to ski, both downhill and especially cross-country (but, my butt is not a huge fan of snowboarding). Sledding rocks. Yeah, snow CAN be SUPER, but right now, I am just tired of it.
What this is all about
So, here I am starting another blog. I have been compelled to talk about things that just don't seem to relate entirely to my other blog.
And, although my other blog is linked to the local paper, and they have told me that I can write about whatever I want...this just seems a bit more free. Or at least I don't have to feel any guilt for writing about what it's my heart for fear that some irrational person will call up and complain to them (that did happen, by the way...a major source of amusement). I did feel bad that another person had to deal with and listen to the whining because I don't wish that on anyone.
You need to make sure that you bookmark this site, because after a bit it won't be on my other blog. It's really easy to remember, though, right? http://whosgottalk.blogspot.com/ And, I really do mean it. Who's got talk?
Anyhow, I have so much to say. My friends know that I am very oppionated on many different things, so watch out. However, recently I have had some specific things on my mind: Politics, Family (especially blended families), and Writing. Here we are. I hope you enjoy.
