Such a gift!

Being a step-parent is hard. Being a step-child is hard. Heck, being a parent and a child is hard, but it can at times be extra-hard when you add in the hyphen of step!

So, for eight years, Ricky and I have been together. My boys were in 7th and 10th grade when we moved up here. And, Rick's daughter had just turned 2. We had been dating for about six months, when the moved happened.

Needless to say, teenage time is tough. Add into the mix a move and a bio dad who was pretty hands-off (absolutely NO conflict, but also pretty apathetic...we made all the plans for the kids to spend time with him; he never initiated), and you end up with some angry little boys. Add to that, a step-dad with VERY LITTLE patience or parenting skills--he's the highway or my way type of parent, and you get a rocky, at best, start.

Life has happened, and we have somehow survived! I never gave up, even when times were tough. And, boy they were tough (I moved out and lived on my own with the boys TWICE). This doesn't even add into the mix the conflict of dealing with another set of step hyphen problems with me as step-mama. (THAT'S an entirely different entry!)

Ricky has grown as a parent, for sure. I am so proud of him :) When my oldest, Cody, graduated and went to the Marines, well, let's just say he realized where Rick was coming from all of those years, rough and tough, but full of love, even if he didn't show it. The two of them have bonded incredibly! They are best of friends now, and have been for almost four years. Cody did apologize to Rick for being an instigator and master deflector--"If I get my mom and Rick fighting, then they will lay off of me." Rick has even said the *L word to Cody :)))

Now, my youngest...that's a different story entirely. Jordie and Rick are so much alike, and OFTEN I felt like they were brothers, squabbling over this or that, and constantly putting me in the middle :( In the end, I truly wondered if they would EVER find their own common ground--even if everyone around them could see it from the beginning.

Jordie is at his second year of college, and he is going to school to be a veterinarian. He is doing incredible at school, and he loves what he is doing! I can tell that Rick is proud of him--even if he won't admit it out loud. The past year has been better between the two of them, offering some hope. I can see Jordan making an effort, and I can see Ricky trying to accept that effort.

Fast forward to this week...Jordie has been home from college, and we have had some awesome family dinners!! LOTS of laughter. You can just see a difference between them. Well, now the two of them are conspiring about my Christmas present. There have been several secretive phone calls, and this morning Jordie came up to get money from Rick. I went outside to give Jordie a hug, and I told him, "I know you guys are conspiring. And, I know I will love whatever it is, but what makes me the HAPPIEST mama on the planet...is seeing the two of you in cahoots." Jordie just squeezed me tight and said, "I love you, Mom!"

THERE IT IS...I will take it. I know things won't be perfect, and there will always be frustrations, but I cannot tell you how long this has been coming. My heart is so full right now, I need nothing else.

Truly...this is for what I am thankful today. THANK YOU.